Suddenly Sookie!
by sweet city lights
Summary: My contribution to the Weekly Hans von Hozel Challenge over in the Sookieverse.  Prompt is chapter title, week is chapter number. Went slightly over the word limit - my math isn't much better than my english!
1. Lemons

**Week 1 : Lemons**

Once before nighttime Sookie had a feeling of want lemons and then she ride her car. To Grabbit Qwik.

She is going to make a look for things that are giving a lemons flavour in the mouth and face. First of what she see is the shopkeeper that he is Old Stinky Gross. Sookie was head-look him and he has a thinking of her melons but melons are not lemons. So is sad.

She looking more in the shop places. She seeks for cold thing which has lemon for it being so much to hot and she without lemons. Also this is usually come from Eric who is big and cold. She are looking but not having lemons in the freezes.

Suddenly! Alcide Herveaux is a danubed into the store, hasing a glisteningly sweat on him and with shirt not on. Sookie has a "OH!" and lusting danubed into the area of Alcide Herveaux.

She wears her sour lemons face and says him "My usually lemons are cold and dark. You have hot lemons, hot like on the streets of Georgia. My usually lemons is sleeps til darkness. I would like to danube you with unclothes."

Alcide who is a big wolfman and also likes lemons of lots of kinds makes kissing and howling sound. Alcide pick up Sookie and 6 beers and take into his truck for danubes in hot hot sun.

Suddenly! Sookie has enough lemons flavour in her mouth and face and she say "Thank you Alcide" and then she rides her car to Fangtasia for cooling and dark time.


	2. Janalynn

**Week 2 : Janalynn**

Janalynn is a evil lady change animal. She has a badly secret spy mission to make Sookie bonkers and a big lusting to Sam Merlotte owner of Merlotte's Bar and Grilled.

It has drive Sookie very batshit that Sam also danubed this lady of change animal in the no-pants. Sookie plan to kill Janalynn with help to Lafayette. She say him "Janalynn are bad evil, make for her peanut butter treats and POISON!"

Lafayette say "No I cook treats for lady change animal! Here this poison." And he make a give to Sookie of this poison. Then he make a wanting to back in cooking so he push friend Sookie with his Brom and throw a door on her. "Hooker please" say him.

Now Sookie is makes a new plan for Janalynn to take poison and she called Boss Sam Merlotte who is Sookie friend and she tell him to take out his pants. Sam was very joy and confuse but make his pants down and danubes close to Sookie. Silly Sookie is make spray on Sam of iced tea in the business area then on him she thrown the poison. "Now it will be sticky into your pants!" she say to he. "And then she will die!"

Sam is also still confused and stops the danube to make up his trousers. Then Janalynn come into Sam Office and Sookie is push by two bromine from the door.

Sookie go back to waitress on the tables and Janalynn die from eating poisoned.

Everyone does a laughing. Sam who might still confuse, is also having itches.


	3. Kill a Character

**Week 3 : Character Death**

Once when big yellow vampire is forgetting who is him, he go for walk in the no-clothes. He find self at the house of tiny blonde lady with pants of very short and him she say "Eric I am Sookie!" He not has a big understanding of talk English ahem so he thinks she yearns for gracious plenty in his not-wearing-now pants for go into her mouth. He fastly do this. Suddenly Sookie are very quite surprised!

And then they have many sexes and adventures sometimes with two or three times danube in them. Also danger from witches, and dogmans, and other bad things. Vampire Viking of Forget and tiny lady are always lustfully.

After there is a big battle of scarry, and loud noises, and very bad smells of stinkful go-away. And some Elvis. Too much adventures and not enough sexing for Vampire and tiny girl so she take home her car and he.

In the home kitchen is sleazy Debbie with more noise and stink of yelling and wet dog. Also she have gun. Also Sookie has and madly she BOOM the gun.

Debbie is explode with guts – EWWWW!

Sookie is explode with joyfully – HOORAY!

Eric Forgetman is explode with dinner – BURRRRP!


	4. Rhodes

**Week 4 : Rhodes**

In the Pyramids of Rhodes has a conference of Big Time Vampires. At the conference is being a salacious danube of two tangoes.

Lovely blonde hunk vampire Eric Northman looks at clacky clacky clap clap tangoes with lots of meh. But Suddenly! Sees favourite human lady all wearing shiny things, blue like ice and ocean sky with sparkles. Also her bazooms are luscious and juicy. The small human lady Sookie is awaken loin-stirrings with all the other lustful danubing around the Big Time Vampire conference.

Eric Northman go to her and sex her by his eyes. She look at him and he talks "Your bazooms are luscious and juicy. We must danubeing then I will pole you in your yahoo. I am lusting you! Look to my trousers!" Sookie looks and he is true. Big big trousers.

Sookie Stackhouse is having shocked and delight of lustful yahoo and danubes in the night with Eric Northman and his pants-tent with other Big Time Vampires.

Suddenly! Bill Compton who is awful and gross sees Sookie lusting and danubing all over Eric and cries. Pam of Eric goes to see what problems Bill Compton. She tell him and say "What problems you, even though you are awful and gross?"

"Sukkay," Bill say "She is lusting in another pants. I am forlorn and bereft of her danube."

Talk Pam "Oh... Boring..." and then she punch Bill Compton in the eye. Also kicks to him in the junk. And stake with her big wooden shish kebab stick. Bill turns gloopy and flakes and no Big Time Vampires cares.


	5. Merlottes

**Week 5 : Merlotte's. **

At this restaurant is Jason Stackhouse favourite time for sitting lunch and being sexy of chest and arms and hair. Also has a darts.

At this restaurant Sam Shifter is boss.

At this restaurant ladies wear pants of very short, so high to buttcheeks. Shirts like a T and so large-full of casaba. Sometimes it's also bodacious tatas. Also shirts being white. Sometimes water is spilled for extra seeing of lumps. Sam makes a good eye-show for lusty roads crew.

And also beer jugs and wing parts of chickens are cooked well-ly. At this restaurant cook is sometimes big sexy called Lafayette Reynolds who is a boy-sexer but also has very pretty eye paints and a slammin' bod. Has sometimes primo drugs to sell and touches inappropriate if lonesome danubeing in toilet. This has probably a very secret dream of Jason. Also Hoyt. And Catfish Henessey. !. _But is not real. _

At this restaurant cooks is sometimes not Lafayette then they are not matter.

At this restaurant sometimes is working Jason's sister Sookie Stackhouse who looks in brains for secret knowing. She also brings free lemonade and extra fries if she sees nice head-thinks as a prize. Once times, Sookie says "No more beers tonight, Jason Stackhouse! What would Gran think?" which isn't fun to be yelling to.

Even still Jason Stackhouse has lovely good time dinner at Merlotte's business place. Even if Sam is shifty shifty.


End file.
